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By Charlene Rubush, July 26, 2012 4:26 pm

I just learned of another great organization which is devoted to supporting those who are injured in service to our nation, as well as their families.

The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund was established in 2000, to provide financial support for the dependents of United States military lost in performance of their duty. This was a continuation of an effort begun in 1982 by the late Zachary and Elizabeth Fisher. The Fisher’s were founders of the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum, as well as the Fisher House Foundation.

Through 2005, the Fund has provided close to $20 million to families of United States military personnel who died while serving, mostly in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Fund has provided unrestricted grants of $11,000 to each spouse and $5,000 to each dependent child.

This organization, with the help of over 600,000 Americans, has raised the money to build The Center for the Intrepid, which is a $55 million world-class, state-of-the-art physical rehabilitation center at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas.

The Center serves military personnel who have been catastrophically disabled in operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, and other veterans severely injured in other operations and in the normal performance of their duty.

The Fund is also constructing the National Intrepid Center of Excellence at Betheseda, Maryland, which is adjacent to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.

The Center is designed to provide the most advanced services for diagnostics, initial treatment plan and family education, support for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), as well as Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) and other complex psychological health issues.

For more information on this awesome organization, go to:

http://www.fallenheroesfund.org

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By Charlene Rubush, July 20, 2012 1:03 pm

Here’s some exciting news. There is now an instructional Yoga DVD especially for those of our vets suffering with PTSD.  The easy variations shown are demonstrated by veterans, who have found a lot of help for their PTSD symptoms through yoga.

Here is the link to the first announcement of the DVD, and a video segment where the veterans in the DVD are interviewed and speak eloquently about their personal journeys.

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Introducing-VetsYoga—Yoga-DVD-for-Veterans.html?soid=1102184341866&aid=q5Ye4zjtXqs 

The DVD is available now at low cost with coupon code “thank you” at www.vetsyoga.com 

The goal of VetsYoga is to connect with institutions who can order in bulk and provide DVD’s to their vet clients at no cost to them, so they can explore yoga in the privacy of their own home.

I find it encouraging that natural, non-prescription treatments are available for PTSD.

Yoga is an ancient system of physical and mental practices that originated during the Indus Valley civilization in South Asia. The fundamental purpose of yoga is to foster harmony in the body, mind, and environment.

Today yoga is being used for many ailments, including anxiety disorders, depression, heart disease, arthritis, multiple sclerosis, and many others.

Again, check out http://www.vetsyoga.com for more information.

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By Charlene Rubush, July 16, 2012 12:54 pm

Today I’ve been thinking about how writing has been instrumental in my life. Like many people (I’d venture to say, mostly women) I kept a diary during high school. –That diary went missing as I moved into adulthood, married a combat vet, had my children, and worked as a hairdresser.

Fortunately, while cleaning out my mother’s home as her health was deteriorating and we were doing some remodeling, my son found my diary. He’d been working on a sun-porch when he came across it.

He then came to me, looking like a Cheshire cat. He grinned as he said, “Mom, I found something of yours, and I think you’re going to like it.” Luckily, it was found before we started pitching things into the trash.

It’s kind of funny where he found it. It had been taped to the bottom of a small stool. While I had no recollection of having put it there, it did make sense in a strange way. I certainly didn’t want my parents to “invade my privacy” and find out my “teenage” secrets.

It has been fun to re-read those thoughts so common during your formative years, when you’re “trying to figure out what life’s all about.” Many pages induce laughter as I am reminded of how the theme that stands out throughout the diary is how “enamored” I was with boys. Classic!

That diary means so much to me today. And on a more serious note, while my writing fell off during my marriage, there were times when I simply had to “vent” my feelings on what was happening in my life.

Those writings became of the utmost importance after my divorce.—It gave me a look back, where I could re-read what I’d written, and it confirmed how serious the mental abuse had been. For when living with someone with PTSD, you often begin to feel as if you’re “going crazy.” Revisiting some of the traumatic events, made me realize that anyone living in such a situation is bound to often feel as if “they are losing their mind.”

Yet in reality, the most normal of human beings will be adversely affected mentally by being in proximity to bizarre and unpredictable behavior. (Secondary PTSD, anyone?)

It can be very valuable to have something concrete, papers to hold in your hand, that validate your experiences. It has been vital in serving as an outlet for me, a way to vent my feelings and clarify thoughts. I credit writing for helping me regain my sanity.

I hope all of you will consider journaling as a way to work through your traumatic experiences. –I just came across a site today that can be helpful in starting to “journal for your own therapy.”

There are some excellent articles on how to start journaling for your mental health. Try it, you might like it.

 Check out http://www.GoodTherapy.org.

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By Charlene Rubush, July 9, 2012 6:36 pm

Today I am happy to post an article by guest blogger Ryan Rivera. He is the Founder and Publisher of the Calm Clinic, where he shares his experiences of having overcome panic attacks, severe anxiety, agoraphobia, social anxiety and many other ailments.

Today Ryan has overcome his emotional problems and is determined to help others who suffer as he once did.

One of the most important recovery tools for someone living with PTSD is social support. The more they know that they have real, true friends behind them, the better the outcome of their PTSD treatments. The problem is that PTSD can be hard to understand, and those in a relationship with someone living with PTSD often find that they are struggling with how to keep the relationship together.

When you’re the partner of someone with PTSD, there are a few changes you will need to make towards how you treat the relationship in order to keep it successful. The good news is that you still have the same partner you’ve always had – just with a few extra considerations while they’re on their way to recovery.

What to do When Your Partner has PTSD

• Research Everything

The first, and most important step, is to research everything you can about what it’s like to have and live with PTSD. The more you understand your partner’s experience, the better. One of the hardest things for your partner is seeing the confusion, helplessness, or frustration on your face. It makes them doubt themselves and feel as though they can’t share what they’re feeling. The more you know, the less you’ll feel helpless, which helps both you and your partner.

• Find a Stress Outlet

When your partner suffers from PTSD, they’re experiencing a great deal of stress on a regular basis. But as the partner of someone with PTSD, so are you. Finding a healthy outlet is important. Some use support groups, but if a support group isn’t available in your area, then a good friend or mentor can be helpful. It’s best if the mentor/friend understands PTSD as well, so that they don’t judge your partner because of it.

Writing a journal or blog can be a great outlet, as well as being a way to clarify your feelings. It can also be an excellent (and free!) way to vent feelings.

•  Let Your Partner Talk About It

When your partner is suffering, they may need to share their thoughts. It’s really important you give them an open, healthy ear they can talk to, without judgment and without trying to fix them. You can give them a few thoughts if they ask for it, of course, especially if you start to understand PTSD more, but trying to challenge why they feel that way or try to tell them how to feel (or worse, how not to feel) isn’t going to work – if it did, then PTSD wouldn’t be a serious problem. Let yourself be their outlet, whenever they need to talk about it.

• Learn the Triggers

It’s also a good idea to learn what triggers your partner’s PTSD. The more you know about the triggers, the more they become your own triggers – as soon as you see or hear a trigger, you know that you have to take care of your partner. It’ll kick you into gear, helping your partner and helping you so that you never find yourself confused or lost when your partner needs you.

• Take Care of Yourself

Finally, you’ll sometimes find that what your partner is going through takes its toll on you as well. It’s natural to want to ignore your own needs in favor of taking care of your partner. You can’t fall into this trap.

Your mental health (stress, anxiety, etc.) is an important part of your relationship – and an important part of taking care of your partner. If you ignore your own needs just for your partner, you’ll often find that the stress and anxiety hurts your relationship even more.

Making the Relationship Work

PTSD definitely changes a relationship. But the change isn’t as overwhelming as it seems, provided you’re prepared for what it takes. Follow the above strategies, and don’t be afraid to seek out a therapist or counselor if you need additional stress or anxiety treatments.

For more great info, visit Ryan at  www.calmclinic.com.

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By Charlene Rubush, July 6, 2012 5:12 pm

Part Two:

Thank goodness, today there seems to be a greater awareness of the high price military families pay when their loved ones go off to war.

I know that the day I listened to Bert Carson, a Vietnam veteran speak, (back in the early 90′s) was an integral part of  healing my psychic wounds. When he asked those women in the audience who were wives of combat vets, to stand up and be recognized, I felt I was no longer invisible and alone.

Only those who “have been there” truly know just how hard life can be when your loved one comes back from war and is not the person you said “goodbye” to. Looking back on my experience of being a spouse of a combat vet, reminds me that my life back then, was anything but “normal.”

When my Vietnam vet husband came back from Nam, he left the military. Therefore, we were pretty much on our own. We never received any material from the military advising us that we might be eligible for counseling should we encounter problems related to my husband’s service. We’d never heard the term “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.” It was like we were stumbling around in the dark, trying to find the light switch.

I doubt that any of my civilian friends were experiencing nights like I had, where my sleep was interrupted 3-4 nights a week, by a stumbling, incoherent drunk, mumbling about things he’s seen and done in Nam.

I rarely shared what was happening at home with friends, and never with relatives. I felt it was “private” and “embarrassing.”

Today I know that my “keeping of secrets” was what helped me become seriously depressed, physically ill, and feeling hopeless.

It was only years later, after my divorce, that I was able to “speak my truth.” What a freeing thing that was. Every time I spoke about my experience (to counselors and often to strangers) I felt a lifting and renewal of my spirit. I found that once I realized I was “proud of myself” for enduring what many people wouldn’t or couldn’t endure, I could use that truth to heal my deepest wounds.

I hope that all of you out there now, who are going through the toughest of times with your veteran, will pat yourself on the back. Don’t be afraid to “speak your truth” to a listening ear.

If you can’t find someone to listen, (but I’m sure you will) pour your heart out on a journal page, or even speak into a recorder. There is great POWER in owning your experiences, and acknowledging your personal sacrifices.

Hopefully you will find that Earnest Hemingway’s words “life breaks us all and afterward many are strong at the broken places” apply to you.

Today I know that has been true for me. Even with all the heartache, drama, and trauma, I take great pride in having been a spouse of a war veteran.

I wish all of you well on your personal journeys. Speak your truth and Keep the faith…