It’s Difficult to Recognize That You Are Clinically Depressed
One of the most dangerous aspects of being in the midst of a clinical depression is the fact that you are generally, incapable of self-diagnosis.
In my last post, I wrote about how I was affected, once I descended into a deep depression. As I look back now at that event of over twenty years ago, I’m amazed that I survived it.
Too weak and out of it, to rise from my bed and do my daily routine, I was basically defenseless. If someone had broken into my home, I would have been easy prey.
Thankfully and blessedly, I had a family and a boyfriend who eventually (after months) realized that I needed professional help.
The boyfriend literally carried me from my bed, to see a hematologist. There was a brief consultation with the doctor. I was able to tell him of my fairly recent divorce from my ex-husband, a Vietnam Marine Corps combat vet.
I numbly explained that my ex, after a nineteen year marriage, had decided he needed to be free. His decision came after seeing the film Platoon, having a major meltdown, and exhibiting bizarre behavior. I had gone to the Veterans Outreach Center to get help for the incredible stress and fear I was enduring.
No sooner had the ink dried on my divorce papers, than they kicked me out of counseling. Right when I needed it most! (I now believe the anger I felt over that rejection, greatly contributed to my depression. Depression is often called frozen anger.)
The doctor ran a series of blood tests. I was certain he would come back to the room I was in, and pronounce that I was severely anemic.
To my surprise, he stated that my bloodwork showed no abnormalities. “I believe you are depressed,” he said with great concern. “From what you’ve told me, you’ve been through a lot in recent years. I’m going to put you on an antidepressant and see how you do.”
This was the breakthrough I needed. Within a couple of weeks, I started regaining some of my lost strength. I would have a long way to go, but I was finally on the long, slow path to healing my mind, my body, and my spirit.
I can only imagine what might happen to someone experiencing a clinical depression without concerned friends or family around. I pray all of you who have a similar experience have a least one person who may be there for you when you really need it. It may be the difference between living and just existing, or even life and death.
Today, I’m grateful for the life I have and appreciative for the help I’ve received. I could easily have been just another statistic. It happens way too often.