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By Charlene Rubush, January 27, 2012 5:34 pm

That fateful night when I reached out to strangers at the clubhouse for recovering alcoholics, I was truly a basket case. It was a big adjustment to being divorced after a long-term marriage. Especially when I was the rejected one. I must have had a look about me that said she’s vulnerable. You can take advantage now.

After attending Open AA meetings and Al-Anon for some time, I pretty much was starting to realize that everyone that came there, came there for the same reason. We were sick, mentally and emotionally.

The good news was that many were becoming better, by working the 12-steps. The bad news was that some were still extremely sick and needy. From that night a few years back, when I’d first fallen to my knees in despair, I had realized I needed help, even though I wasn’t the one abusing drugs and alcohol. Continue reading 'Part Two: Sharing Some Personal Thoughts on PTSD and Alcoholism'»

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By Charlene Rubush, January 16, 2012 4:53 pm

Part One:

From time to time, I think back to a relationship I had over twenty-four years ago. My husband (a Nam vet) of nineteen years had recently left me. I was totally devastated, especially when I found out he’d been having an affair with one of my (younger) friends.

I had been attending Al-Anon and Open AA meetings for several years prior to that, due to my husband’s overindulgence in booze. – Now that he was gone, I needed the fellowship I’d found there more than ever.

The meeting place was just a mile from my home. It was a stand-alone building that they actually called a clubhouse. They had meeting rooms as well as a snack bar, and also a recreation room with pool tables.

Well, the first night of my now single life, I made myself sit down on a barstool at the snack bar. I must have looked as pitiful as I felt, but then, a lot of us looked pitiful. I desperately needed to make a human connection; to have someone to tell my troubles to.

A man and woman next to me finally took notice. I began to pour my heart out to them. We talked for hours, till the club was ready to close. These two new friends were so concerned about my state-of-mind, that they urged me to come to their apartment for the night.

I reluctantly agreed, and we talked into the wee hours of the morning. They were a God-send to me. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through those dismal hours without their compassion and concern.

Little did I know that this new friendship would lead me (unwittingly) into another dysfunctional relationship with another combat vet. Or that I would soon learn the meaning of a dry drunk.

I’ll continue this in my next posting, and share what I learned through this strange pairing.